EPISODE 814: SMITTEN WITH RACHEL WEISZ
And fulfilling my dream of living in Agent Dale Cooper's dreams
POP CULTURE SPIRIT WOW
Hi and welcome back to Pop Culture Spirit Wow, the weekly Substack newsletter that is not suddenly constantly sending you notifications of new “notes,” whatever that is. I’m your host Connor Golds–whoops, Jim McDermott. I’m your host Jim McDermott.
(That is a very deep cut for anyone reading this who has spent the last weeks of their life listening to Connor and Sara Century talk about Madelyne Pryor for like, 15 hours—this is not a made up amount of time.
If you have no idea what any of this means, don’t worry, it will not be on the test (but extra credit if you have answer to the question “Who took the picture of Maddy and Scott in bed?”)
Let’s get in there.
THE WOWND UP
This week, CNN’s Don Lemon and Fox News’ host vampire Tucker Carlson were both fired, in both cases apparently because of the way they treat women. Lemon, the long-time “Huh, I guess we’re doing this, then” of cable journalism, said that Nikki Haley, a former US Ambassador to the UN who is running for president, was, at age 51, past her prime. A woman, he said, is “considered to be in their prime in 20s and 30s and maybe 40s.” Lemon, btw, is 57, and supports Joe Biden, who is 80. Also, always be worried when a man used the term “a woman.”
Meanwhile Tucker Carlson, who has for over a decade been the answer to the question “Why can’t we have nice things?” was finally pried from his crypt not over reports that he has been horrible to women on staff, including his producer, as has been widely reported, but because the evidence of his mistreatment was about to come out in the Dominion trial. And if there’s one thing Rupert Murdoch can’t stand for, it’s the truth coming out.
Meanwhile Buzzfeed just fired its entire news staff. And the thing is, Buzzfeed’s top trending story right now is 53 Hilarious Things that People Posted on the Internet This Month That I Couldn’t Stop Laughing At, which just about sums up its problem: they’ve tried to be the internet version of the trash mags you stare at as you wait to pay for your Velveeta, and also the New York Times. Buzzfeed news has done tremendous nvestigations, even as bizarrely their home page is nothing but listicles and reposts of TikToks. Basically its financial model has been the media version of having rich kids pay full price for schools to help pay for the 97% of us who cannot, and unfortunately it worked just about as well.
(Side rant: I don’t care how much colleges insist everything’s fine, when it costs minimum $30000 to go to a state school and $50,000 to go anywhere else, we’re all in real trouble.)
Meanwhile in pop culture news, Damon Lindelof recently revealed that after turning the draft for his Star Wars film he was let go. He was actually a real sport about the whole thing—in this interview with Esquire, he laughed as he talked about being “asked to leave the Star Wars universe” and also said he would now “get back in line outside the club and try to get back in again.”
He also had some great things to say about Marvel movies—“I see all of the Marvel movies, I love all the Marvel movies and TV shows…if you wake up on Christmas morning and you go down and there’s like 500 presents under the tree, by the time you’re opening like, present 35, all the presents kind of like lose any meaning. But if there’s like 3 presents under the tree, the value of each present is raised. So I’m not knocking any Marvel movie, if I had to name one that I wish didn’t exist I’d be very hard pressed to do so. But I think sometimes less is more;” how he’d end Succession, “Succession probably is breaking the rules if one of the Roy siblings does not end up with the company. But, if I were ending Succession, none of them would, because that would piss off the most people. Gotta stay on brand, guys;” and offered to do a cameo if there is ever a fourth season of Twin Peaks, “preferably in one of Agent Cooper’s dreams,” which is absolutely the right answer to that question.
TOP TEN THINGS THAT DID NOT GET WHAT’S HIS NAME FIRED
Being a Republican named Tucker. Way too on the nose. Artists named Tucker: Ooh, I’m interested. Pundits named Tucker: I don’t need to listen any more than I need to read those little “Are you ready for the judgment?” books they pass out in Times Square. Clearly I’m not, or you wouldn’t be here trying to scare the shit out of me with cartoons about fornication and adultery.
Weaponizing Smarmy. Mr. I’ve Got a Problem With You took what is one of the most instinctively annoying things you can perform as a human, basically the living creature equivalent of nails on a chalkboard, made it his signature move and got it to work for him. Just the idea that he was able to do that is fireable offense.
Yelling at Someone on His Show for pointing out Kamala is pronounced with the accent on the first syllable. He said it shows how Kamala Harris is “immune from criticism.” Because always be selling, and also, the deal he made for his soul says if he ever says Sorry or Thank You he goes straight to Hell and does not collect $20 million a year any more.
Shilling for Testicle Tanning as a Male Potency Aid. There’s no way he wasn’t getting paid off for talking about that. Also it’s just insane.
Dressing like every high school history teacher from the 1980s. I am not posting any of those photos because even if I posted a trigger warning you’d probably see them first and I am not going to do you that way. But take a look, if you dare. He’s like Alex P. Keaton grew up but just kept wearing the same clothes.
Actively Undermining Democracy.
Actively Promoting Hatred of Women, Jewish People and People of Color.
Actively Encouraging Transphobia.
Saying immigration makes the US “poorer, dirtier, and more divided.”
Encouraging people not to trust anything the federal government tried to share or encourage about Covid.
You know, the little things.
THIS IS YOUR WEEKLY REMINDER THAT ROY WOOD, JR. IS A TREMENOUS COMEDIAN
Roy Wood, Jr. was the comedian at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday. He was a perfect choice, not only because he is a great writer and performer, but his father was a journalist. (He talks about this and the plight of being a journalist today in the last 10 minutes. It’s really good.)
I want to highlight one moment of writing that I thought was truly wow worthy.
He’d just done this bit about how the Correspondents’ Dinner gives awards to young journalists, and then announces that the main recipient was George Santos.
Then he said this:
George couldn’t be here tonight, he’s auditioning for RuPaul’s Drag Race. We say good luck to you George. Sashay away. *laughter*
Also, speaking of drag queens, can we stop with the grooming stuff? Can you stop talking about that? Drag queens are not at the school to groom your kids. *Big cheers* Stop it.
And even if they were, most of them kids are going to get shot at school. It ain’t no problem. *dead silence*
Don’t groan, pass legislation. *cheers again*
They think groanin’s gonna bother me. I’m like Mitch McConnell, I ain’t got no soul.
This joke is like great jazz. It moves in totally unexpected directions, even as each next beat is really building on the last. Santos gets him to drag queens which gets him to school shootings which gets him to Congress’ inability to pass legislation which gets him to McConnell.
Great comedy is set up/punch line. (So is great writing, great music, magic, you name it.) Today most comedy we see is longform, where the comic tells us a story building to some kind of punchline but filled with lots of little moments and jokes along the way. John Mulaney’s new routine “Baby J” starts with a great example of this. He’s talking about being embarrassed by his desperate need for attention, and then that leads into a whole journey about the things we want that embarrass us. It’s a great bit. He’s a master.
What makes this moment in Wood’s routine so special is the degree to which he goes the opposite way. He’s not weaving a longform story (though he does that later in a great sequence about critical race theory, Clarence Thomas and NFTs). Instead, each line is a punchline of its own, and also serves as the set up for the next joke. In just 12 sentences he lands 5 great jokes.
I mean, that is some Jedi mind trick-level stand up comedy going on there.
AND ICYM THE LAST SECTION, THREE BITS WITH ROY WOOD, JR.
I BET IT’S GOOD THOUGH
This article in the Times about a night shift guard at the Metropolitan Museum of Art who was himself a painter and learned from all the hours he spent in the night staring at masterpieces is just such a great idea. It’s got to be great.
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE
Everything about this is amazing, and I’m sending it to you.
This week is the coronation of King Charles III. It maybe didn’t get off to a great start with the announcement that the entire commonwealth was going to be asked to swear an oath of allegiance to the King. (Char Honey, You’re supposed to be swearing an oath to serve the people, not vice versa. You don’t rule the country no more, baby.)
The Tony Award nominations will also be announced Tuesday. Very much hoping a play called Ain’t No Mo gets some love; an extraordinary piece of writing. Expect lots of love for Sondheim revivals and Parade, too. (But if you’re coming to New York, the musical to see is absolutely positively Kimberly Akimbo.)
Enjoy all of it. And see you next week!
Thanks for another great newsletter! It’s nice to see Roy Wood, Jr. get the appreciation he deserves and to know I’m not the only one confounded by Notes on here. Lol
Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it! And man, yeah, this notes thing. My phone is now dinging constantly lol.