EPISODE 810: BLASPHEMY OF BLASPHEMIES, ALL IS BLASPHEMY, I GUESS?
Also, how Ryan Reynolds is one of the last vestiges we have of hope in the universe.
So I don’t know if anyone else felt it or if it was localized to my little corner of reality but I lost gravity last week, which made it very difficult to type, as the keyboard kept slipping away from my fingers.
(Actually I was at a friend’s place for the three day weekend, but it turns out that’s pretty much the same thing, especially if you forget your computer at home. And if you’re wondering, what three day weekend, for New York Catholics St. Patrick’s Day is actually a holy day of obligation, and the obligation is not to work, apparently. Yeah it was new to me when I moved back, too.)
So let’s get a lay of the land, shall we?
THE WOWND UP
Victoria Alonso got fired from Marvel Studios, after having been one of the three executive producers for every Marvel movie in the dynasty. That may seem a little inside baseball, as Kevin Feige is the name that everyone always talks about, but Alonso was a serious part of the Marvel machine, and so far the reasons for her getting fired, are um, pretty suss. She worked on a movie for Amazon with permission from Disney, and then talked about it? Really Disney? It wasn’t at all because she’s a lesbian and spoke out when her old boss was like, We can keep giving money to Rick DeSantis and other politicians who support the “Don’t Say Gay” movement because we’re not political? (He got fired, by the way.)
Speaking of things that are totally normal and not at all bad, this week a German cardinal said the conference of all the bishops in Germany had committed blasphemy because they announced they want to start blessing gay marriages. He also said supporting gay couples is nihilistic, materialistic, and woke, which all seems like an awful lot of weird stuff to put on the idea of telling people that God loves them and wants them to be happy. Like, is this the Jesus 2.0 update? Because I kind of like 1.0 better.
In other news the second Shazam movie tanked, which is kind of a surprise because the first one was really delightful, but also maybe not a surprise because new DC front man James Gunn basically just blew up everything DC had in motion with his recent Big New Plans. I love James Gunn’s work, and I hope his movies for DC are good, but man, it seems like common sense that if you start a new job as Movie Company Visionary by saying that everything your company has been doing is bad and we’re going to start over, it may affect everything still in the pipeline in a rather serious way. Like, who knew there were multiple ways of Batgirling a film, let alone that there was an appetite for even one way?
(Honestly, the trailers for Shazam 2 were super vague, too, and the idea of a whole family of Shazams who will now be flying around fighting and what not is a lot to get your head around. Star Zachary Levi deciding the weeks before the release was a good time to ask his followers whether Pfizer was “a real danger to the world” maybe didn’t help, either.)
But bottom line, Good luck Aquaman 2! Nice to know you!
RYAN REYNOLDS, DON’T GO BREAKING OUR HEARTS
A couple weeks ago Ryan Reynolds announced that he was selling his Mint Mobile company to T-Mobile for over a billion dollars. Yeah. That’s a lot of yowza.
Actually T-Mobile announced they were buying Mint Mobile, in which Ryan Reynolds is part owner, for 1.35 billion. But the news was pretty much Reynolds selling his indy phone company to a corporation for a big cash out. And that’s to be expected; he’s been the very cute and hilarious face of the company. Ryan Reynolds is the internet’s sweetheart’s sweetheart. We just can’t get enough of him.
But why is that, really? Yes, he’s very handsome. And someone you know would go out and get you an espresso from that one place you like first thing on a Saturday morning, and spend all day sitting around reading funny things stories the newspaper with you, and be totally down to hang out with all your friends any time, even at a moment’s notice, and still have time to throw a frisbee around with your dog Jim Parsons and be a great dad. Also, he is handsome. (Did I say that already?)
But I also think Reynolds is one of the last vestiges we have of hope in the universe. Which I realize is kind of a lot to put on a guy who just makes movies for a living. I’m not saying it’s right that we feel this way, but tell me I’m wrong. In a world of unending stories of good guys who turned out in secret to be nightmare people, he seems like the genuine article. He’s the guy next door, the one who has no problem manning the BBQ at the block party and is also nice to your kids when they come over trying to sell cookies or Pine Wood Derby whatnot. Just in the way he does things he kind of embodies some pretty important virtues, like friendship and kindness and not taking things too seriously.
Cashing out on a business venture doesn’t negate any of that. Honestly I love T-Mobile myself. Maybe taking Mint to them doesn’t have to ruin Mint at all.
It’s just a little unnerving to be reminded that Reynolds does not live next door, or at least not next door to most of us. And all I can say is I hope the guy he lets us see in all his commercials is close enough to the real him that it’s generally fun for him to be and also we don’t need to worry about having our hearts broken again soon because man, that would be tough.
Also, if you haven’t seen this ad from just after the holidays, it’s kind of crazy.
THIS IS YOUR WEEKLY REMINDER THAT TED LASSO IS BACK AND IT IS GOOD
Caught up on the first two episodes of the third and final season of Ted Lasso this weekend. Contrary to some weird “mehs” in the press reviews, I found watching the show was a huge relief, like drinking from a big stream of goodness. This season has more hope, more kindness, more big questions and crazy metaphors that actually work, and also more of Ted’s overall spirit of friendship and wonder.
Watching Ted Lasso—and also Shrinking, which is from much of the same creative team—is an intentional act of self-care and I recommend it for everyone.
Also, I love these opening credits so much.
THREE TWEETS
I haven’t been on Twitter much lately, because when I go there now it kind of feels like every scifi movie where the crew of a spaceship discovers an abandoned space station/ship/planet and wonders, What happened here, and then half an hour later they’re running for their life.
But Succession did begin its last season tonight. Let’s see what the survivors of the Twapocalypse have to say:
I don’t know. She says she’s fine.
I actually can’t pay attention to this because it makes me so uncomfortable.
I BET IT’S GOOD THOUGH
I have so many articles I want to read right now! Like Stanley Kubrick explaining the ending of 2001. Or a conversation with the Broadway orchestra members of Phantom of the Opera who stayed on the show for decades. Or this interview with Trent Crimm, aka James Lance. Or this on how Alice Oseman made her comic Heartstopper come to life. Or this interview with Ben Affleck. Or this report on what it was like to be at the CDC during the pandemic. (Spoiler/Not Spoiler it was bag of cats crazy.) And then today I saw this insane story about a festival in Italy in which people pelt one another with oranges for three days.
I haven’t read them yet, but I bet they’re good, though!
That’s all from me this week, except maybe for this piece I wrote about Adam Sandler, which I’m not sure really landed with people but I kind of loved doing. Someone on staff said we should call it “Adam Sandler, Symbol of God.”
Pretty sure Jesus 2.0 bot ain’t gonna like that.
See you next week!