EPISODE 804 WAIT, AM I THE ORANGE M&M?
This Clinches It, No More Medical Advice from Shazam
POP CULTURE SPIRIT WOW
Hi, and welcome back to another edition of Pop Culture Spirit Wow. Somehow it’s still January for our sins, but February is right around the corner, and wow that doesn’t really sound better does it, let’s just jump in.
THE WOW-ND UP (BECAUSE WINDING DOWN SOUNDS HARD)
So the big news this week was that apparently we all need to have takes on M&Ms now, after Mars announced it was retiring the M&M characters indefinitely, but then maybe just until the Super Bowl, never mind, because Tucker Carlson I guess does not like the way the M&Ms have been freshened up in recent years? Honestly the more I read about this story the more I can’t find anything about it that makes any sense, why does the orange M&M have anxiety, oh wait rereading this paragraph I get it.
Meanwhile the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences released their nominees for the 2023 Oscars, and there was immediate blowback over the best actress nomination of white British actress Andrea Riseborough, whose performance in the film To Leslie pretty much no one had seen or heard of, and beating out among others Black actresses Viola Davis and Danielle Deadwyler who were considered front runners. Apparently Riseborough’s producers called their famous white lady actor friends and had them tell all their famous actor friends and host virtual events with the actress, and it worked, which has left a lot of people mad, but I don’t know, isn’t that kind of how the whole thing happens anyway? And isn’t it actually a great thing to have performances that have been largely overlooked getting nominated?
(Although it’s also true that when you can call Kate Winslet, Charlize Theron, Amy Adams, Susan Sarandon, Helen Hunt, and Gwyneth Paltrow, you may have an unfair advantage.)
Lastly, in Colorado, shots of a bear who stopped at a nighttime wildlife camera have gotten big praise from fashion photographers, yes this is a real story; “The engagement is iconic, the confidence really comes through,” said an LA casting agent, I wish I were kidding, “She definitely knows her angles,” said a fashion photographer, and “Am I dead and in Hell?” said I, reading this in the Washington Post.
Actually this pose is pretty fierce.
MY FIVE STEPS TO GETTING NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR
I can’t promise anyone a little golden statuette come March, but as someone who has worked briefly in the TV industry, I do definitely have insider knowledge on how to successfully get nominated for an Oscar. And, no shade, but Riseborough’s approach is actually a lot more work than you need to put in.
Hush now, pull up a chair with your name on the back, and let me tell you everything.
1. Get a Chair with your Name on the Back: The first thing you need to do to be nominated for an Oscar is to establish your cred. Movie people have their own chairs. So get one and post it on your social, by itself with something like “Here we go!” or “It’s real!” And then at the end of the shoot you want to come back to that chair shot again with, “Full circle.” or “What an experience.” Don’t be afraid to rock a ellipsis.
This guy gets it:
Pro tip: Don’t be fancy. Everyone in the biz knows what the industry standard chair looks like. You make yours bigger or add a cup holder and you are done.
2. Make a Movie: Obviously to be nominated for an Oscar you need something that you’ve actually made to be able to show to Academy voters. Depending on your schedule and finances, making a full-length movie may be heard. But a trailer is also a movie.
The key thing: Make sure the make-up work is OUTSTANDING.
3. Get Your Movie Shown in a Theater: To be nominated for an Oscar a film currently still has to be shown in a theater at some point during the year. I know, what is this 2011? But that’s where we’re at. So, make sure you get yours out there.
Pro Tip: See if your local community theater group will show your trailer each night before the fall play, in exchange for you agreeing to do concessions. Or go to your local theater and see if they’ll play it on repeat inside the bathrooms, as a sort of cute we love movies gimmick, in exchange for you agreeing to do concessions.
Welcome to my movie theater.
4. Target Beauty Influencers: Once you’ve shot your film, start releasing stills and short clips on social that really pop for the make-up and style work. DO NOT comment on this yourself; be smart, you guys. Just post clips with things like “So excited for you to see this” and “SO proud of the story we’re telling.” THEN, have all of your friends start reposting and commenting on the make-up work, while they’re @ing make-up influencers. “OMFG that eyebrow pencil work is FIRE.” “Honey, those eyes are poppin’.” Etc.
5. Wait for your Nomination to Roll In.
You’re probably thinking, Wait, do Beauty Influencers even get to vote for Oscars? And the answer is, Not yet, and you’re right, it’s totally unfair, but for our purposes that doesn’t matter. Because every Hollywood person’s kids are all on the Tok and the Tube (that’s what they call it) looking for lewks, and once they start hearing about your film, they’re going to start talking about it, and once they do their parents are going to hear about it, and pretty quickly they’re going to panic, because their job is to know about everything and everyone and they don’t know about this or you. And then they’re going to start talking to each other, and some people are going to say they know more, even though they don’t, and that’s going to make them more freaked out.
And if you time your campaign just right—you definitely want the kids talking about your film over Christmas break—the height of their anxiety is going to hit during the voting period, and the fact is there are a whole bunch of films they will have heard are important and need to vote for but did not see, so voting for yours, too, is no big deal
And that’s how you do it. It totally works.
THIS IS YOUR WEEKLY REMINDER THAT EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE IS DELIGHTFUL
I’m 7 months late to the party, I know, but if you haven’t seen this movie, you should. It’s the story of a mom and a dad and a daughter who are each kind of growing away from one another, and how the mother has to learn to love again in order to save their family and also the multiverse.
I really want to show you a clip but every single one that I find feels like it would ruin something. I will say, the technique they use to move between dimensions is an instant favorite.
See. This. Film.
THREE TWEETS
Yet another person fooled into thinking Shazam is an adult rather than a 13-year-old. How is this child considered a hero???
And speaking of fictional characters doing us harm:
Tonight’s The Last of Us is VERY long, but also fantastic, and the one episode you probably need to watch this week.
Finally, what every day of January feels like:
I BET IT’S GOOD THOUGH
This wedding announcement has got to be read, if nothing else for the photos of the Twister themed room and life-size plus Grinch at the reception.
But also, in the vein of things I haven’t read yet but want to, there’s this piece on the history of Oscar voting from Scott Feinberg at the Hollywood Reporter. It looks great.
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE
Don’t let January make you forget that you are enough.
Or, as some of my friends tell me, you’re so much.
(That’s the same thing, right? Basically?)
Have a great week.