EPISODE 408: Us
You say “social distancing”, I say “What I have always wanted."
POP CULTURE SPIRIT WOW
Last night I went to see a play. This play, actually:
My amazing friend Ellie started a theatre company about two years ago, they do fantastic staged readings every month. This month she produced a musical that she co-wrote about a rock star and a novelist who decide to find each other along the Appalachian Trail. It was great.
Before the musical started, this couple sat down in front of me, two guys. And the one kept touching the other – brushing something off his shoulder, patting him on the back.
Normally I would not have noticed any of this, not even slightly. But it turns out, touching other human beings is so 2019.
Are you tired of hearing about the coronavirus? I know I am, and at the same time, I can’t stop reading about it either. I actually changed my internet homepage to a comic book site that I’ve now discovered almost never updates – which is maybe not the best choice in terms of engagement (for me or it), but on the other hand I just wanted somewhere where I could rest from the non-stop “And where is it now?”
It’s like we’re all playing an endless game of Where’s Waldo, but if you see him it means you may be in trouble. Where’s Waldo, the Serial Killer Edition.
There are people with the virus a ten-minute drive from me in a couple different directions. One guy in nearby Venice tested positive, but then for some reason his wife wasn’t quarantined with him, so she went about her life – and then of course tested positive. His nephew posted the whole story as a critique of the health department. Then later he posted this:
Um, yeah. No one in the Bell family gonna be loving Scott anytime soon.
Stanford just cancelled its classes for at least the next few weeks. USC is going to test something similar next week. From what I’m hearing Spring Break may prove kind of a tipping point; there’s just no telling what students or faculty traveling may come in contact with. I’d guess it would take just one case on any L.A. campus and we’ll all go online for the rest of the semester. Can you imagine that?
And yet I’m writing this on what is a gorgeous sunny Sunday afternoon. I can hear the quiet roar of cars in the distance rocketing by, just like any other Sunday. In the sky above there’s the tiny speck of a plane soaring over the ocean leaving an incredibly pure trail of white, like a chalk mark across the sky. If anything, I have the sense of us all being on a kind of vacation. It’s like Christmas, except where you’re not sure if you’re in Miracle on 34th Street or A Quiet Place.
I was talking to my sister in Wisconsin today, a friend in New York yesterday. It sounds like none of this is anywhere near as serious there yet. We probably seem a bit hysterical – and not in a ha ha way.
I felt the same a month ago; all I can say is, if you’re some place where this sounds like something happening “over there”, aka not to you, do yourself a favor and get some antiseptic wipes, some hand sanitizer and some Gatorade (electrolytes!) just in case.
What I find really interesting about this whole thing is that on the one hand a key part of prevention is all of us choosing to keep a bit more distance from one another. And also in some cases to ignore one another’s existence and buy all the toilet paper at Costco.
And at the same time the threat of this virus is making us all more conscious of one another. I don’t know that I’ve ever been more aware of my potential impact on the guys I live with, particularly the older guys, than I am now. I see other people making similar comments about their neighbors, worrying about them in a way that they might not normally.
All these things we’re doing right now, keeping a bit more to yourself, washing your hands constantly, it’s not just about self-protection. It’s a way of caring for the whole community we all live in. Which I think is actually kind of beautiful.
It’s the one good thing I find about crises: they reveal that we’re so much more than we think we are. So much more generous, so much more connected, and so much more creative in our ability to show it.
I know I posted this last week, but I love it so much. For me it says everything.
When it comes to stories about the virus, here’s the one I see everyone retweeting, which is super practical and non-hysterical.
I loved Anne Helen Petersen’s latest newsletter entry, too. She ends with some great suggestions about things you can do now that can help other people later:
You can channel some of that anxious energy away from reading articles on the internet and towards thinking about who in your life and in your community will certainly need help or assistance. Who can you talk to now to make a plan to help them later? (With supplies, with groceries, with their pets or children) If you’re able, can you donate to your local food bank, or donate additional supplies to the homeless shelter? Can you buy things from local businesses, restaurants, and artists now, so that things might be less lean for them in the months to come? If you’re someone who’s high risk, how can you be honest with yourself and others about it? If you’re able to work from home and still pull your normal salary, can you commit to still paying someone who provides you with a service (a housecleaner, a dog walker, a hairdresser, a yoga teacher, etc) even if they have to stay home?
Can you understand how making the next few months better for as many people as possible will also, by extension, make it better for you?
And Ann Friedman had this great GIF.
“Crawling steadily toward the weekend, in community.”
We get there together.
I don’t know about you, but alongside preparation I feel like I need a constant supply of emotional Ben & Jerry’s right now. Comfort food, distractions, sources of relief or entertainment.
One source of comfort that may not seem obvious: Weather permitting, GO OUTSIDE. Take in the sunshine, or a moonlit night. Feel the breeze on you. Even a bitter chill can be enormously liberating right now, can remind us we’re not trapped. The world is still all around us, lovely and surprising. And there is nothing about the precautions we need to take that means I can’t be out in it, enjoying it.
If shows and streaming relax you, here’s a couple I’ve been watching lately that are each like a great meal.
If you have Hulu: Check out Devs. San Francisco tech noir, by the guy who made Ex Machina. It’s weird and beautiful.
If you have basic cable: Better Call Saul finally came back on AMC, and it remains one of the hand crafted jewels of television. Every shot of that show is thought through, and constructed in a way that is just plain lovely to watch.
If you have Netflix: Last Tango in Halifax is by no means a new show, but it has floated under many people’s radars. The premise: a British couple who loved each other as kids, then went in different ways find each other again in their 70s. It’s as much a story about their middle-aged daughters, who are equally marvelous, and it’s just a wonderful show about family and life.
If you have Amazon Prime: Endeavour, about the early adventures of British TV icon Inspector Morse, is again not a new show, but so so worth watching if you love mysteries.
I don’t know what it is about British detective shows – or British shows in general – but I just find them somehow so relaxing. There’s a purity to them, a lack of clutter that is deeply reassuring.
Finally, some tweets to satisfy and delight.
The Hot Take on The Sixth Sense You Didn’t Know You Needed
Who Needs the Tokyo Olympics Anyway
The Responses in the Comments Take this in Crazy Wonderful Directions
There is Nothing that says Washing your Hands Can’t be Time for Karaoke
This is Everything I Needed at the End of this Week
I voted for Warren. I think she has the combination of pragmatism and idealism that the Democrats need. I hope her voice continues to be prominent in our country.
Lastly, All I Can Say is, Wait. For. It.
Wherever you are, however you’re doing, be gentle with yourself. Take time to relish the life that is yours.
See you next week.