EPISODE 404: A NEW ATTACK OF THE REVENGE OF THE FORCE AWAKENS HOPE (OR SOMETHING)

POP CULTURE SPIRIT WOW

So not only was the Super Bowl was the worst of all possible Super Bowls, it came with a side of the War on Corn Syrup and also why is there corn syrup in beer anyway, isn’t that like putting nacho cheese on your chili fries? (Wait, people do that too? And stay living?)

Meanwhile Wendy’s got called out as posers with a comic book fanboy after they said they preferred Marvel to DC comics, even though that is definitely the right choice, and their response was more inside-comic books-delicious than a Frosty. (For those not into comics – first of all, I am here for you and please let me help you; second, imagine if someone was calling out Ronald McDonald about some statistic about football which I can give you an example of because it is football, although here’s one, there were almost as many concussions this year as there were days (281), and man that Super Bowl was the worst.)

Also, Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds took their Wolverine vs. Deadpool feud to a whole new level with a commercial-for-charity that was way better than the Super Bowl trailer for Avengers: Endgame. That’s how bad the Super Bowl was, even the Marvel movie trailers were terrible.

(Not for nothing, but can someone please tell me why everyone online this week seemed to be shuttling between trying to predict the resolution of Avengers: Endgame and reporting on whether or not we were about to hear the title of Episode IX? (Answer: We weren’t, and Avengers: Endgame will be resolved with everyone coming back to life except Tony Stark and maybe Steve Rogers.))

And young people in Great Britain are comparing Brexit to the break-up of the Spice Girls, and somehow that seems fitting and genius.

2019, it is definitely happening and we are here to bear witness and dance vigorously. Let’s do this.

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I’m writing this from San Francisco, where I have spent the last four days doing research on a couple stories and also realizing that there is so much to discover here that I am a little paralyzed by it all. I spent a little time on the Golden Gate Bridge, which is something I’ve done before and loved. But it’s funny this time I couldn’t past the fact that it so freaking loud out there with the cars and also most of it has no fencing or protection. (Apparently they’re going to install a suicide prevention net below; there’s been a lot of debate about it.)

I did have one incredible tourist/spiritual moment though. Years ago I read that Lucasfilm had an office in San Francisco, and maybe a kind of museum as well, and ever since I have been um, motivated to find my way there and see if they have finished construction on a real X-Wing that I could stealborrow forever.

As it turns out, really there is no museum. Lucasfilm/ILM has offices in one of a bunch of very ordinary looking buildings in the Presidio district of The City (as San Francisco is known by its residents). And if you can find its offices, the waiting area – which is about 15’ x 22’, so not very big – has a bunch of cool memorabilia. Like a full size R2-D2 and Darth Vader, and also Luke, Vader, Maul and Sidious’ light sabers. (Sidious’ was by far the most cool, lots of curves and gold.)

Also, there was a desk receptionist who hated tourists asking why the bookshelves were also filled with non-science fiction books like The Death and Life of American Cities by Jane Jacobs or novels by John Steinbeck, and could it be these were from George Lucas’ own shelves, and clearly dreamed of a world in which she could answer each such question by shooting first (and definitely not denying it) and/or sidling up close, admitting that she was struggling and then impaling us with her very red light saber. But I got to see R2-D2 and an X-Wing pilot helmet and that is forever.

(In the Jesuits I have discovered that most guys get buried in their priest liturgy gear – not just the black suit but the white alb and chasuble that priests wear at Mass. I don’t really understand it, honestly, as that’s hardly what we are normally wearing as priests. I realize that may sound like the most stereotypical Jesuit thing a Jesuit has ever said, I’m sure wearing that has got something to do with the idea that we’re priests forever and in death we’re now celebrating the Mass forever or something, but it’s always felt kind of untrue to me.

I’m not sure what I think we should be wearing instead, mind you, but I definitely left Lucasfilm’s lobby with thoughts of what I might look like in an X-Wing pilot helmet.)

The biggest deal of the whole experience, though, was what stood just outside the reception area, a 6 or 7 foot high fountain on which stood this guy.

Yep, Master Yoda himself. It actually sort of stopped me dead in my tracks. He was so different than I expected – younger for one, and thicker, stronger. His fingers were as thick as two of ours, and longer, and the clawed toes of his feet even moreso.

But what really struck me was his gaze. From a distance, you think he’s looking right at you, but when you get up close it becomes clear that's not quite right. His eyes are actually turned slightly away and also up. Which is odd – with the benefit of the fountain he’s already standing quite a bit above us. He doesn’t need to be looking up. Yet he does, up and out, to the horizon.

And there’s just a hint of a look on his face, not quite happy but positive somehow. Certain.

As I sat there with it I realized it’s an icon of hope. And a very Star Wars kind of hope, too, not something big and demonstrative but subtle. A hope you might miss, a quiet hope built on a kind of belief that the universe really does bend towards the good eventually.

If you’re ever in San Francisco, I hope you get a chance to hunt this Yoda down. It’s not flashy and you’ll have to work a bit to find it, but spend a few minutes when you’re there and it’s hard not to start to look up from the fray yourself, to remember that there is more to the world than the crazy that might be in front of you.

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It’s funny, I have had a couple things sitting in my “newsletter to dos” for a couple weeks now, in particular a thing about magic. But then I’m sitting here with the fact that there’s all this excitement about when we’re going to find out the name of the next Star Wars film and I can’t help but put all my plans aside and sink my teeth into that.

I know, what a shock.

Fun with Star Wars Titles, in Three Basic Observations

1) With the Exception of The Last Jedi, All of the Titles Follow Very Specific Patterns.
First, Word Count. The first title of each trilogy has been three words (with the first word being an article), and the second and third titles have each been four words (again, with the exception of The Last Jedi– which is actually very cool, insofar as even in its title director Rian Johnson was signaling this film is not going to follow the rules you’re used to).
Second: Subject. The first film of each trilogy sets out something new happening. There’s a new hope/menace/movement in the Force. The story is beginning. Meanwhile in the first two trilogies the second film title indicates an attack of one kind or another, some kind of new (and probably bad) complication; and the third indicates a resolution. The Jedi Return; the Sith get their revenge.
I could push this a little further and say each set of titles relates the same set of three experiences for a different protagonist. In the original films, the Rebels are the subjects; in the first film they find a way forward, in the second they’re attacked, in the third they fight back and win. In Episodes I-III, we see the same pattern, but with the Dark Side as the subject. And on the surface that follows for Episodes VII and VIII, too; the Force awakens in the Resistance, then in Episode VIII that new life is challenged (although not just by the First Order but by Luke!).
What does this tell us? You might expect Episode IX to have four words and to offer some sort of resolution to the challenge the Resistance is facing.

2) The Third Film in each Prior Trilogy Mirrored the Other.
Revenge of the Sith is the dark side version of Return of the Jedi. It’s very clearly a reference to Episode VI.
What does this tell us? Not, I think, that Episode IX will play off that same “R-word of the Force Users” trope. It could, I guess, except for IX I think the mirror is less III or VI than IV or maybe in some way I. IX is the end of the story that began with The Phantom Menace, the end of the Skywalker Saga. So maybe we should expect some twist on phantom and/or menace. Or maybe some play on the word “hope”. Or maybe both; at first glance I’d be happy to forget I-III ever happened, but I think J.J. Abrams is the kind of creative visionary that would be trying to come up with a title that in some way helps redeem the mess of that trilogy, that allows it its place. And Kylo’s preoccupation has always been Vader; he parallels not Luke (so far) but Anakin.

3) The Saga Learns as it Goes.
One of the critiques of the Star Warssaga as a whole is how much it repeats itself. Maybe the biggest offender was The Force Awakens’ Death Planet. Enough already with the celestial bodies of doom; come up with something else.
But when done right, the repetitions actually suggest difference as well as similarity; Ben killing his father at the end TFA has all kinds of cool echoes, but it is its own thing. (I absolutely loved the fact that this is the moment that we found out Kylo’s real name. The parallels with the Vader/Obi-Wan scene in A New Hope were already there, but that one detail took it all so much farther and darker.)
The Last Jedi was all about bringing the series back to its roots – the rebellion as a very small force battling against the craziest of odds; and salvation as a function of everyone’s bravery rather than just the Jedi’s. In a sense the title The Last Jedi was actually not a dupe at all, but Johnson saying “Enough with the fixation on Skywalkers, the Force is about all of them.”
What does this tell us? I think it suggests that the title a) will definitely not reference either Jedi or Sith, b) will almost definitely be related to the greater struggle to survive of the Resistance (or goodness) as a whole; and c) will probably not offer some kind of final resolution. The Skywalker saga may be ending, but this universe continues and you want the title to allow for that.
I actually think Return of the Jedi was a terrible title for Episode VI; it was too final. It assured the audience that everything was going to work out. Where is the fun in that? A good title of the final film should give us the stakes, should if anything double down on how unlikely success is, so that we go in on the edge of our seats.

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Having said all that, it would still be absurd and embarrassing to predict some titles. And so of course I am going to do that right now.

Ten Possible Titles for Episode IX, all of which are Terrible
1) The Final Hope
Bland, I know. But definitely doom-y.

2) The Darkest Night
Not terribly Star Wars-y. And can you really get darker than Episode VIII?

3) A Ray of Hope
I know, it’s terrible. Star Wars does not do title puns. And this makes it all about Rey. I’m trying my best here. It could be worse.

4) The Knights of Ren
There’s a couple plot threads that really need to be resolved in Episode IX, and Kylo’s knights are pretty much Numero Uno in that regard. This title addresses pretty much none of the things I just talked about, but I love the idea that it introduces a whole new level of threat for the Resistance (and perhaps also for Kylo).
The biggest question for a lot of people going into Episode IX is going to be, What else is there to say? Didn’t VIII kind of finish it, really? Bringing in the Knights is a clear way of saying, Oh there is so much more bad we have to deal with.

5) The Children of Skywalker
I realize this feels like it’s just about Rey and Kylo, but really everyone in the Resistance is a child of Luke and Leia’s hope. And so are we. *stifles emotional sigh*
It has the same kind of “But wait what does that mean?” as “Last Jedi”, but maybe not enough sense of a direction.

6) The Balance of the Force
In some ways this is the worst title of the bunch; it’s so mind-numbingly static (even if it does use the “Blank of the Force-related” pattern). I might as well call the thing “A Seminar on Mitochloridians”. But here’s the thing – the Star Wars saga begins with this idea that Anakin will bring balance to the Force, and that idea has never since been fully explored. Luke does get into those kinds of questions, though, in Episode VIII. I want to think that in IX we’ll see those ideas play out in some final and fresh way.

7) The Redemption of the Force
Another take on #6, one that is very clearly built on Episodes III & VI. It’s a little less static than “Balance”, but also seems like it might give too much away. And come to think of it then we’ve got Episodes VI & IX with “Force” in the title, guys this is really hard.

8) Reylo
Don’t look at me like that. You know you want it.

9) Poe Dameron is Not That Great
More the Cameron Crowe indy romcom version of Star Wars, I know, but I do find it very satisfying.

10) Only Hope
It sounds way more YA-John Green-novel than Star Wars, admittedly. But it does bring in the hope concept, and I think in the right way. In the end all the Resistance has is their hope. Things are that bad, and also that awesome.
It also references Leia’s famous hologram plea to Obi-Wan in A New Hope. And “only” seems to me like a sly riff on Kylo’s last name. If I had to make one prediction about Episode IX, it would be that it’s going to have a lot to do with Ben dealing with what’s happened to his parents, and coming to terms both with being alone and being a Solo. I bet we get a Han Solo ghost myself, although maybe Luke will fill that role.

Or there's always this:

Okay I am broken now and have to be up in five hours to drive 400 miles. Time for links.

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Not a link but a recommendation: Watch Russian Doll on Netflix. 8 part series, each part 30 minutes, I really can’t say anything without ruining it, but suffice to say it is really fun and mind-bendy and emotional and great.

A woman whose mother died at age 35 has her own 36th birthday party go a really weird and unexpected way. Seriously, watch it because we have to talk about it.

A take on Super Bowl LIII that captures a lot of what I felt about it. (Note: Lots of colorful language and concepts!)

The great comedy podcast Good One did half its episode this week on the making of the SNL Totino’s Pizza Roll ads, which aired three years in a row during the SNL before the Super Bowl. I had not realized the three are really a trilogy, but they are, they so are and God they are still so great.

Time Magazine’s new issue on Optimists came out this week. It’s got some great stuff in it, including this piece from actress Laverne Cox on where she finds hope.

The Guardian also posted this fantastic conversation between essayist Roxane Gay and Nanette comedian Hannah Gadsby, in which they talk amongst other things about being homeless, the challenges of sharing one’s trauma in public and the strange comfort food that is crime procedural dramas.

Finally, this someone dug up a clip of Ewan McGregor discovering that the new Star Wars film that he was in was going to be called Attack of the Clones and his reaction (and also Nicole Kidman’s) are pretty spot on.

Sometimes there's value in freaking out. And sometimes George Lucas locks you on a soundstage for a year and made you wear a a green body stocking and talk to a ping pong ball on a bat and all you can do is throw your hands up and laugh as you remember this is not forever and also you're still Obi-Wan Kenobi.

You get your Force on. I'll get mine. See you back here next week.