BODY WOW: WELCOME TO MY PULMONARY TOILET

Oh wow that does not sound right.

So after days of having a weird cold that instead of going away kind of transformed into this awful hacking, gooey mess (sorry), I went to urgent care the other day, and discovered I have pneumonia.

I know what you’re thinking: How can that be possible? Only babies and the elderly get pneumonia. Or the ‘Monie, as we kids call it. How can this happen to meeeee?

It’s definitely been an interesting experience. And so today, for your reading pleasure,

TEN THINGS I’VE LEARNED HAVING PNEUMONIA FOR A MINUTE

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THERE IS A HUGE SURGE IN PNEUMONIA CASES.

At urgent care, I expected them to take one look at me and insist I take another Covid test. But they never even asked about Covid. “We saw 30 cases of this just on Sunday,” the nurse practitioner told me.

This surge isn’t just in New York and it’s not just right now. I guess since spring they’ve been seeing a rise in a form of pneumonia called Mycoplasma pneumonia, but which I heard as microplasma and thought maybe it has to do with nanites. And it’s really bad right now. (If you haven’t gotten a pneumonia shot or booster, get it.)

THIS FORM OF PNEUMONIA IS SNEAKY.